We Could've Had It All
by LittleGreysTwin
Summary: This is my first Slexie ff, shoot my first ff ever. I'd love any comments you have on it. Also, sorry both the whole ff and chapters being short. Thanks. (: Disclaimer: I don't own Lexie and Mark. ABC does.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Daddy!" Kaylee yelled. "When is mommy coming home?"

"Soon, baby," Mark replied, "she'll be home soon."

Kaylee had the biggest brown eyes, just like her mother's. Her dark brown hair curled at the edge of her face, which reminded Mark so much of how Lexie's used to look. When it came to Kaylee, he was putty in her hands.

Mark was getting ready for another day at the hospital. He first had to get Kaylee to school. He began making a mental checklist of everything she needed. _Lunch? Check. Jacket? Check. Book bag? Book Bag? Where's the damn book bag? Oh, here it is. Check. _Lexie was much more organized than he. She always had things laid out for a new day. Mark really wished she was there to do just that.

"You ready?" Mark asked.

Kaylee came running towards her father, "yep!" Her enthusiasm reminded him so much of Lexie.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hey Mark!" Callie called out as she walked over to the OR board where Mark was. "How're you doing?"

"A little better. Kaylee asked again," he replied.

"Oh…" Callie began, "well, it'll be better soon. Once she wa-"

"Don't, Callie. Please," Mark said as he lowered his head. He ran his hands through his hair. "I've gotta go. I've got a surgery in a few minutes."

Mark knew he shouldn't be operating on day like this. But, he needed the distraction.

Marks' surgery went as planned. No complications. Then again, there were hardly any complications when it came to him operating. He needed to find Derek. This thing was bothering him too much.

"Hey Shepherd."

"Oh, hey, Mark. You ok? Callie told me about this morning," Derek said.

Mark rubbed the back of his head with his right hand, "I guess. It's just… it's hard. Kaylee keeps asking, and I always say 'soon', but what do I do when she realizes what's happening?" Mark took a deep breath. "I don't know what to do, Derek."

"You don't need to worry about that. It's not going to come to that. And, even if it does, you won't be alone," Derek said as he patted Mark's back. "You wanna get a drink tonight? I can get Meredith to take Kaylee."

"No. I'm gonna stay here tonight… I need to. I haven't since…" Mark stopped before he would start crying. "But, can you take Kaylee for the night?"

"Sure thing," Derek smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mark quietly opened the door and gave a sad smile.

"Kaylee is staying with Derek tonight," he said as he picked up the chart and looked it over. He then sat in the chair. "I've been thinking a lot lately. Mostly about that first night…"

*flashback*

_ Mark was doing his usual night routine, getting ready for bed, when he heard a knock at the door._

_ "Who the hell is at my door?" he said to himself. His eyes lit up when he saw who it was, Little Grey._

_ Lexie quickly began talking, "you made her speak. Mrs. Patterson, she said 'hi', she spoke. You made her speak." Mark stared blankly at Lexie as she walked into his apartment. "I respect you. As a man, as a-a surgeon. As a teacher. I respect you," Lexie began taking her jacket off.  
"So, teach me."_

_ Mark started shaking his head, "what're you doing… don't do that, stop."_

_ "Teach me," Lexie said as she takes her shoes off._

_ Mark sighed and closed the door, "stop."_

_ "Teach me."_

_ "I can't do this. You're Little Grey. An-and, and I promised. I'm your teacher," Mark was the one rambling now. _

_ "So, teach me." Lexie's shirt was off now. _

_ "Lexie…"_

_ Lexie blew the hair out of her face, and looked up as she said, "teach me." "Teach me," was all she could say. Her tank top now off, too. "Come on, am I really so bad?" Lexie looked up at Mark with big brown eyes._

_ "No, I am."Mark quickly walked over to Lexie and put his hands on her face. He put so much meaning into the kiss. He knew it was wrong to like it this much, but he couldn't help it._

_ Her lips were so soft. He loved the way they felt on his. Soon, his clothes began coming off. The closer they got to the bed, the less clothes they were wearing. Mark knew he'd have consequences, but right now, he didn't care. Lexie Grey was in his bed, doing things he never thought he'd see her do._

Mark looked up and sighed, "I gotta go. I'll be back in the morning to check on you." He looked back one last time before leaving the room.

It was 2 AM and Mark was lying awake in one of the on-call rooms. 3 more hours until work began. He needed sleep. But, he knew that he'd never get it. Lexie was on his mind. She was always on his mind. _Maybe she's awake, _he thought. _Maybe, she's sitting up asking for me and Kaylee._ Mark's chest began tightening up because, he knew that wasn't happening. His heart began pounding. Lexie's voice was dancing through his head.

*flashback*

"_Mark, I'm home," Lexie called out as she sat her things down. "Mark?" Still no answer. Lexie began to get a little worried. _He should've been home by now, _she thought. There was a noise coming from bedroom. "Mark?" she called out again._

"_Lexie," Mark said with a smile. "I've been waiting for you."_

_There were rose petals everywhere. Mark wasn't the kind for lovey-dovey things like this, but he knew Lexie was. He grabbed her hand and brought her over to the window. The view from their bedroom was beautiful. Lexie's favorite._

"_Lex," Mark began. "I love you, and I'll always love you. And, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without you." Lexie's brown eyes began to fill with tears. She knew exactly where this was going. "Lex, I want to have have mini-Sloans and mini-Lexies with you. I want to build you a home. I want to wake up every morning knowing that you're mine. Alexandra Caroline Grey, will you do me the honors of being my wife?" Mark breathed heavily. "Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes, oh my god. Yes, Mark. Yes!" Lexie exclaimed as she jumped into Mark's arms. She looked into his bright blue eyes, smiled, then gave him the most amazing kiss she could. She wanted to remember this moment forever. She knew she'd never forget._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Good morning, Dr. Sloan," the Chief said while grabbing a cup of coffee.

"Chief," Mark replied wile nodding.

"You know," Webber began, "you don't have to work today. I know this all must be hard. I just-"

"I'm fine, Chief," Mark's voice was very stern. "I need to work. I want to work. I don't need to be sitting at home when I can be here, fixing people." Chief nodded in response and walked away with his head down.

Mark knew he had to face today. Today of all days. He knew he had to stay strong for his daughter. If she saw him like this, she'd be scared. Mark shook his whole body and began walking towards his office.

Derek had been waiting for him by his office door.

"Mark."

"Shepherd, I know what you're going to say. Yes, I'm fine. No, I'm not taking the day off," Mark said. He had a deep sadness in his eyes. It was obvious to Derek that Mark wasn't ok.

"That's not what I was going to ask at all," Derek lied. "I was gonna see if you wanted to scrub in with me today."

"Oh. Uhhh, sure." Mark needed the distraction. He needed anything he could get. He agreed even though he knew what Derek was doing. Derek just wanted what's best for Mark.

Mark walked into his office and immediately sat down. He sighed loudly as he put his elbows on the table and rubbed the back of his head with both of his hands.

"I can't do this," he said to himself. "I can't do this without you. I need you, Lex." Tears began to fill Mark's bright blue eyes. Soon memories of their past filled his head.

*flashback*

"_I proposed to Lexie," Mark said with the biggest smile._

_Callie spit her beer all over Joe, "you what?!"_

"_I proposed to Lexie."_

"_Oh my god, Mark! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Callie exclaimed as she jumped off of her stool._

*end flashback*

*new flashback*

"_Lexie?" Mark called out. "Where are you at?"_

"_In here," Lexie said from the bathroom. She was leaning over the sink crying._

_Mark quickly ran over to her and put his arms around her. "Oh my god, are you ok?"_

_Lexie smiled. "look." She tilted her head towards the sink to reveal the 5 positive pregnancy tests. _

_Mark's face was as red as fire. It soon turned into the biggest smile. "You're pregnant," he whispered. "We're pregnant… We-we're having a baby…"_

"_We're having a baby," Lexie confirmed. Mark turned her around to face him. Lexie had her arms around his neck as she kissed him._

Mark's pager went off and he sighed, "Looks like today's gonna be busy." Mark quickly walked to the ER with all the other doctors.

"What's going on?" one of the interns asked.

Chief faced everyone and then looked directly at Mark, "Multiple car wreck. Are you good for this, Sloan?" Mark nodded. "Alright, everyone. Get ready, here comes the first ambulance."

"I've got this one," Mark called out. "What'd we got?"

"Steve Williams. 24 year old male. Burns on the left arm. BP is fine. Trauma to the head," the paramedic said.

"Get Mr. Williams here a head CT," Mark said to his intern as they rolled the patient into the ER.

*flashback*

_The ambulance came rushing towards the hospital. The first person to make it to the vehicle was Dr. Bailey._

"_What do you have?" she asked._

"_Female. 27, car wreck. Unconscious. Multiple wounds and a severe laceration across her abdomen. We found her with this man," he said as he pointed to the man crying, holding the girl's hand, "he was performing CPR on her when we arrived."_

"_M-Mark," Bailey stuttered. "What're you doing in here?"_

_He began screaming, "it's Lexie! Bailey, help her! It's Lexie!"_

"Dr. Sloan. Dr. Sloan?" Mark's intern called out. Mark looked up with a confused look on his face, which quickly turned back to normal. "I've got Mr. Williams' scans here. They look clean." Mark nodded in agreement.

"Alright. Go get me some coffee," Mark said as he walked towards Mr. Williams' bed. "Hello, Mr. Williams. How are you feeling?"

"Other than these nasty burns and that terrible wreck, I'm good." The patient looked at the others from the wreck, "how's everyone else?"

"I'm not really sure," Mark wasn't on top of his game. His mind was obviously on other things. "Sorry," he said. "Dr. Avery," Mark called out. "Can you come clean up Mr. Williams here for me? I've gotta go do something."

"Sure thing," Jackson replied with a worried look on his face. He knew he shouldn't ask.

Mark's escape from the victims of the ER was followed by multiple "sorrys" for bumping into people. He had to get out of there. It was overwhelming. It reminded him too much of "that night."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Hours later, Mark was found wondering the halls of the hospital. He had made his way from the ER, to derm, to the ICU, back to the NICU, and then all the way to the surgical wing once again. He looked like a mess. Hair was all over the place, his hand was bleeding, which is where the blood on his scrubs came from. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he'd been awake for weeks, which was probably true. His face was wet from the tears falling from his eyes. He was mumbling something, but no one knew what he was saying. No one stopped him. They knew what was wrong. It was October 14th.

A few nurses paged Callie. Callie knew it had to do with Mark. She just knew. A few moments later she found him by a patient's room.

"Mark..." Callie said softly. "Mark, are you ok?" Callie sat next to him on the floor. Mark didn't speak. "Come on, Mark," Callie's voice got quieter as she spoke. Mark put his head on his knees and his hands on the back of his neck. "Mark, at least let me fix up your hand." Callie got up and went to fetch a first aid kit.

She soon returned to clean off Mark's hand and then proceeded to wrap it up. He refused to talk.

*flashback*

_"I don't know what you're trying to do to me," he spoke. "I don't know if you're trying to play a cruel joke on me. If you are, then it's working. Cruel. I never thought you were this cruel." He lowered his hand. He soon began sobbing. "Please," he whispered, "don't die on me... Please."_

Mark laid his head on Callie's shoulder. "I don't know what to do... It's been a year." Tears ran down Mark's cheek. "Tell me what to do, Callie. I can't..." he could no longer speak.

"Mark, you're a strong man. She's a strong woman. You're going to get through this. You're both going to fight through this, and you're going to win." Callie had sorrow in her eyes. "I love you, Mark Sloan. You're my best friend. I know you. You will beat this," she took his good hand with hers. Mark and Callie continued to sit on the floor together for a little while longer.

Mark needed something, a sign. Anything that could bring him hope. He saw medical miracles happen every day. But, for some reason, they weren't happening for him. Almost every ounce of hope he had was gone. It was slowly vanishing, piece by piece. He had to stay strong for Kaylee, though. Any hope he had left was for her. She was only 5. She didn't know. She sure wished her mother would come home, though.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for the reviews. And thank you for sticking with me through this story so far. I'm sorry for the short chapters. It's just how this story has come to me. Please review. Enjoy(:

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This chapter is a flashback to "that night" that I keep mentioning And to after it.

* * *

It had been a year. A year since Mark's worst nightmare. A year of long, stressful surgeries. A year of impatient waiting. A year of tears and pain. And, a year without her. Mark was reaching his breaking point. He saw her face everywhere. The perky interns reminded him of her. The eggs in the fridge reminded him of her. Neuro reminded him of her. And, his daughter reminded him of her. Kaylee was the spitting image of Lexie. They had the same big brown eyes and perfect dark hair. They were both so energetic and friendly. Everyone loved them. Don't think Mark didn't love Kaylee, but it sure did pain him to be around her sometimes. Everything about her reminded him. It reminded him of that October night.

It was October 14, 2012. It was pretty cold in Seattle. There were patches of ice here and there, which meant more wrecks than normal. The ER was slow that night, though. Not many accidents, yet anyways. That was the night that changed a lot of people's lives.

Everyone was paged about a few incoming patients from a wreck. No one had the slightest idea who it was. They were soon to know. Bailey was the first to reach the ambulance. There she found Lexie on a gurney with a terrified Mark by her side.

They were rushed into OR 3 where Bailey needed to inspect how deep the laceration across her stomach was. The tension in both the scrub room and OR was high. It was known that if anything happened to Lexie, they were to deal with Mark. None of Lexie's internal organs seemed to be too badly damaged. Everyone felt a little relieved. But, that was soon to change.

Lexie went straight from post-op to scans. Derek needed to get an MRI to make sure everything was fine. Her brain tissue seemed to be a little swollen, but it didn't seem like much to worry about. Lexie was taken back to her room where all they could do was wait.

"Hey, Lex," Mark said. "You know, you're worrying everyone. And, I know how you don't like people worrying. So, maybe you should wake up now... Your daughter is going to need you. I need you." He had her right hand in between both of his. He rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand as he talked. "Derek said your brain is a little swollen. Doesn't surprise me," Mark smiled a little, "I think you're running out of room up there." Mark turned his head towards the door as he heard a knock.

It was Avery, Lexie's ex boyfriend and Mark's soon to be plastics fellow. Jackson didn't date Lexie until after one of the billions of times Lexie and Mark broke up. They didn't last long. Even though, Jackson did date Lexie, he and Mark always remained friends. Avery helped bring out Mark's inner child. They had a strong friendship, but ever since "that night," their friendship hadn't been the same. It was now more of a Teacher-student relationship.

"Dr. Sloan," Avery looked straight at Lexie's busted up face. "I-I..."

"Spit it out Avery," Mark barked.

Avery took a deep breath, but before he could speak Lexie began crashing. Mark stood up and froze. Nurses came rushing in. Someone paged Derek. They rushed Lexie off to surgery.

Lexie's brain had swelled more. The trauma she sustained in the crash caused brain tissue to swell against the inflexible bone. Derek needed to relieve the pressure inside of her skull. He did this by placing a ventriculostomy drain, which would remove cerebrospinal fluid. The surgery perceived to be successful, but that would be determined by whether or not Lexie would wake up.

Mark sat by Lexie, day and night, for two weeks straight. He hadn't given up hope. He prayed and prayed. It was all he could do for the time being.

Quietly, Derek walked in. "Hey, Mark."

"She's not going to wake up, is she, Derek?" Mark said. His shirt was tear stained.

"Honesty, I don't know..." Derek gave Mark a sympathetic look. "I really hope so. She doesn't show any sign of recovery. She's been the same since her surgery. All we can do for now is keep her comfortable and pray she wakes up."

"I haven't stopped praying since the wreck."

Mark constantly blamed himself for Lexie's condition. They had been arguing in the car about a case they were both on. Mark should've been more concentrated on the icy roads, instead he was focused on proving Lexie wrong. Before they knew it, he was sliding into the other lane where there was oncoming traffic. Lexie reached over and snatched the wheel to the right. The car turned too fast and began flipping. It flipped twice before it landed upside down. Mark was able to crawl out. For a moment he was relieved. He was alive. But then it hit him. Where was Lexie? She was still in the car. Mark rushed over to her side. He quickly pulled her out from the smoking car. He laid her in the grass a few feet from the car. She wasn't responding nor breathing. Mark immediately began performing CPR until the paramedics arrived.

Mark refused to forgive himself for swerving into the other lane. He wouldn't forgive himself for yelling at Lexie or not being able to wake her up. He wouldn't forgive himself for taking Lexie away from Kaylee. And he knew he wouldn't forgive himself if she didn't make it.

Mark wasn't the only not taking the accident well. Kaylee may have only been a 4 year old, but she knew something was wrong. Neither her mother or father had been home in weeks. Her mother was "asleep" and her father was "just tired." Everyone tried making excuses for why she had to stay with her Aunt and Uncle, but nothing would satisfy her until she could go home with her mom and dad. Sometimes they'd bring her into Lexie's room, where she'd sit next to Lexie and attempt to read a book. Mark would always find Kaylee saying "Mommy, you need to wake up," "It's not nap time anymore," or "It's time to go home." Mark would just sit quietly and try to hide his tears. It broke his heart each time Kaylee would try to wake her mother up. Occasionally, Kaylee would throw a fit about wanting her mother. It would take whoever was watching a while to calm her down.


	7. Chapter 7

Ok, so, here's the next Chapter. I think you guys might enjoy this one. I sure did. Thanks for the reviews I've gotten so far. Please, keep them coming.

Thanks. (:

Btdubbs, this chapter is back to present time. The last chapter was a flashback.

* * *

After putting Kaylee to bed, Mark proceeded to lie down. His bed was cold and lonely. He missed the warmth having that someone in his bed provided. He missed the smell of her hair. He missed that way her body fit perfectly into his. Mark knew it'd take him a while to fall asleep. It always did. No matter where he slept, he hardly gotten any sleep. The most he'd gotten in that year was after his breakdown.

*flashback*

_Sometime around 5 one afternoon, Derek walked in to check on Lexie. Of course, Mark was by her side with Kaylee asleep against his chest. That was her favorite spot to sleep, just like Lexie's._

_Derek walked in and smiled at Mark, "she's adorable, even when she's asleep." He looked over at Kaylee. Mark remained silent as he gave Derek a look. Derek frowned and proceeded to walk over to Lexie. He began to exam her like he did every day. Still no change. Mark slowly picked up Kaylee and sat her on the bed next to Lexie. Derek watched with a concerned look on his face as Mark stormed out of the room. _

_Mark soon began shouting, "everyone! Gather around and let's all give the Sloan family all our attention. Let's look at them like they're a freak show! No, this isn't no ordinary freak show, this is the kind where someone's life is on the line. Yes, my very own wife. Oh look, my daughter is lying on the bed right next to her. Let's all hope she doesn't wake up just like my wife." Mark's face was as red as ever. Patients and nurses and interns, anyone on the floor had begun to walk over to see what all the yelling was about. _

_"He needs to calm down," someone said._

_"What was that!" Mark yelled. "Oh, I need to calm down. Yes, because, that is very appropriate to say to a man who's wife hasn't woken up in over a month. No, you're right. I should calm down. I should go and sit next to my wife and pray she wakes up. Because I obviously rather stand out here and make a fool of myself." People began to get scared as Mark's voice got louder. _

_"Mark..." Derek said quietly. "Mark, he's right. You need to calm down." Mark turned around and punched Derek. Soon Derek returned a hit. It soon began into another brawl like that had before on the catwalk. Minutes and multiple hits had passed before anyone tried to break them up. It was Hunt and Avery who pulled them off of each other. Mark fell to the floor, sobbing. His tears mixed with his blood that ran down his face. Derek wiped his mouth and walked away. He knew Mark wasn't going to be civil around him any time soon. _

_"Alright people," Hunt began, "get back to work." Soon people began to scatter like ants and return to what they were previously doing. _

_Avery walked Mark to one of the empty rooms to fix the cuts Derek caused. They were both silent until Avery finally spoke._

_"You know, she would be mad if she knew you did that," Jackson said cautiously. "Yeah, she'd be concerned about your face, but she'd be more pissed than anything." Tears began falling down Mark's face again. "You need to stay strong, if not for Kaylee or Callie or anyone else, then for Lexie. Lexie needs you to be strong. She's using all of her strength to fight through this, so you have to be strong for the both of you." Jackson's words really spoke to Mark. Mark looked up at Jackson. _

_"You're right." Mark hated admitting that Jackson was right, but he was. He had to stay strong. Lexie was busy fighting for herself. She was fighting this as hard as she could. All Mark had to do was rise above. He couldn't let the pain bring him down. _

_After Jackson finished up stitching the cut above Mark's eye, Mark walked back to Lexie's room. Kaylee was still asleep. She had cuddled up against her mother. It pained him to see such innocence in Kaylee. She had no clue that when she'd wake up, her mother would still be asleep and possibly never wake up. Mark pulled out the cot he had been sleeping in and laid in it. He soon drifted off to sleep._

Mark knew he had to go to sleep, now. If he didn't, he'd never get any. He had 5 hours until work. 5 hours of sleep. He normally only ran on 1-2 hours of sleep. 5 hours was much needed. He soon began to drift. There was a faint creak and he heard footsteps making their way towards him.

"Lexie?" Mark said sleepily.

"Daddy..." Kaylee sniffed. She had tears running down her face.

Mark shook his head and quickly realized it was his 5 year old daughter, not his wife. "Awe, sweetie. What are you doing up so late?"

"I had a bad dream." Mark wiped the tears off of Kaylee's face. "It was about mommy." Mark's heart stopped pounding and he stopped breathing, only for a moment.

Mark took a deep breath. "Baby, don't worry." He pulled her close to his chest and laid down. "It's all ok. Mommy's ok. Just go back to sleep. I'm right here. Nothing's going to happen." Kaylee was soon back to sleep.

Mark decided to call in and take the day off. After last night, he knew he needed to spend some time with Kaylee. He didn't want her asking any more questions.

Kaylee came walking into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, "good morning sleepy head." Mark smiled at his daughter. God, she looked more and more like Lexie every day. Mark was cooking waffles, eggs, and bacon, Kaylee's favorite. It was obvious that she didn't get Lexie's egg allergy. Lexie was terrified the day Kaylee tried eggs for the first time. Luckily, she didn't have a reaction. Kaylee had been in love with eggs ever since.

"So, I thought we'd go on an adventure today," Mark said which cause Kaylee to bounce up and down in her seat.

"Where are we going?"

"That's a secret." Kaylee was even more curious now, "as soon as you finish your breakfast and get dressed, we can begin our adventure." Kaylee pretty much inhaled her food and put her cloths on faster than a pit crew can put tires on a car.

Their first stop was to Kaylee's favorite park. It overlooked a gorgeous pond where ducks and geese liked to hang out at during the day. There was also a jungle-gym and slides and swings. Mark swung while Kaylee ran through the groups of geese. She giggled as the geese tried so hard to avoid her. Her laugh made everything seem like nothing was wrong. Mark loved to listen to her laugh.

The next stop was to the Space Needle. Mark had been living in Seattle for how many years, and he had yet to visit the Space Needle. This was almost the perfect opportunity to visit it... Almost perfect. Kaylee was in awe at how tall the Space Needle was. Mark decided to have lunch at the top. He knew Kaylee would love it.

After lunch, Mark had one final surprise for Kaylee. He knew this would be her absolute favorite. It was his best friend's favorite thing. They were going to go ride a ferry boat. Kaylee was amazed at the size of the boat. You'd think she'd be excited about the Space Needle. The excitement she had from the ferry boat was like nothing you had ever seen before. One minute she was fascinated by the boat, the next minute she was distracted by the people, then by the things on the boat. Once they got further out into the water, they began seeing some animals. You'd think Kaylee would have a heart attack from all the excitement she had.

Once the boat parked itself at the dock, Mark and Kaylee began their way back home. Mark was now being bombarded by thoughts he had been repressing all day. He saw images of Lexie flowing through his head. One minute it was the first time he spotted her, the next it was her walking down the aisle in her wedding dress, then her unconscious body lying on the ice cold ground. He missed her. He missed seeing her smile. He missed waking up next to her. He missed the absolutely amazing sex. He missed every little part of her. His thoughts were interrupted by his pager. _Lexie, 911? Oh my god. What_? Mark was absolutely confused. He was lost and terrified. _Lexie.. Is she... No, she can't be. If she was they would've called.. Maybe, she's going into surgery.. Maybe, she's awake_. Mark laughed at his own thought. _Like Lexie's alive._

Mark drove as fast as he could to the hospital. Once he reached it, he grabbed Kaylee and ran through the hospital until he reached Lexie's room.

Mark sat Kaylee down as he stood in the doorway.

"Mommy!"


	8. Chapter 8

I REALLY hope you guys enjoy this chapter.(:

Thanks for all of the reviews.

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Mark stood in the doorway with tears forming in his eyes. Kaylee turned around to Mark, "Daddy, where's Mommy?" Mark knew exactly where Lexie was. She was in the same place as her mother.

Derek walked up to Mark and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could." Mark laid his head against the frame. "She started crashing out of nowhere. We tried so hard to bring her back," Derek took a deep breath, "but nothing worked."

"Where is she..." Mark raised his head slowly. Derek picked Kaylee up and asked one of the nurses to take her to the daycare. Mark and Derek soon walked together to the where Lexie's dead body was. Neither spoke. Derek touch Mark's shoulder and walked out to leave him alone with Lexie.

Mark slowly pulled a chair up next to the gurney Lexie laid on. He brushed his finger through his hair and breathed heavily. No words came out as he tried to speak. Mark was soon sobbing.

"Lexie... I-I... Lex..." Mark tried catching his breath between words. "I love you..." he whispered. "Why... Why can't.. Why did you have to... Go?" Mark laid his head on Lexie's stomach. He was now hugging her and crying into her body. "I love You. I love you. I. Love. You, Lex. We had everything going for us. I finally had you. We were finally together." Mark sighed. "You can't just leave like this, Lexie. You have a child and a family and you have a job. You have me.. You can't just leave me. We're meant to be..."

Mark continued to cry into Lexie until Weber walked in. "I'm sorry, Mark." He patted Mark's back. "I truly am. I know how hard it is to lose your wife." Weber began thinking about Adele. He really did miss her.

A few days later, Callie helped Mark put together the most beautiful service they could. It was perfect, for Lexie anyways. She would've been content with what they chose. There were bouquets of just about any kind of flower you could think of. Her casket was a shiny black color with silver rails. Inside was a white layering where Lexie laid. Lexie was wearing a cute black dress. She always looked good in it. Mark knew she'd want to be buried in it. Soon the preacher began speaking. Kaylee seemed confused by the sight of everyone she knew crying. Even her father was crying. He tried not to for Kaylee, but it was hard to hold it back. After the preacher said his word, family members came up to speak about Lexie. Thatcher was first.

He spoke a few words about Lexie's childhood. She was such an energetic and loving child. She hasn't changed a bit. He then talked about her reasons for becoming a surgeon and how he loved her so much. He then ended it with, "tell your mother 'hi' for me."

Meredith spoke next. She walked up to the podium in her dark blue dress and began speaking, "what can I say? Lexie was.. Just absolutely amazing. I never had a real family. I hadn't ever felt the love a family could provide. Lexie gave me that. And no matter how bad of a sister I was, she always loved me." Meredith wiped her tears away. "Honestly, I never thought I'd ever have a family. Lexie was the perfect family..." Meredith lowered her head. She then looked up and walked away.

Mark was last to walk up on stage. He wiped his eyes, and began, "honestly, I don't know why I'm here." Everyone looked around in confusion, which soon changed. "This isn't my wife. My wife is happy and energetic and rambles when she talks. This isn't her laying in that casket. This isn't the mother of my child. That's someone else. My wife was gone a year ago. I knew it the moment the car flipped," Mark gripped the podium tight. "Lexie, I miss you... I really do. I don't know why you had to go so soon. We weren't finished yet. Alexandra Caroline Grey, I love you and I always will."

There wasn't a dry eye in the room. The only people who ever saw Mark's soft side were Derek and Lexie. Everyone was in shock to see Mark with such emotion.

Before Mark could walk away, Kaylee ran over to Lexie's casket and yelled, "Wake up, mommy!" Lexie couldn't reply. "Mommy, it's time to get up." Kaylee grabbed the railing on Lexie's casket and started sobbing. "I want my mommy." The sight of this broke everyone's heart into smaller pieces than it already was. Mark rushed over to Kaylee and picked her up.

"Shh, shh, shh," Mark was bouncing Kaylee in his arms. "It's ok, baby. I'm here. Mommy can't talk right now, she's just sleeping. She'll be up soon." Mark tried his hardest to repress his tears. Kaylee was now laying her head on his shoulder and sucking her thumb. Everyone was touched by this sight of Mark comforting his daughter. Mark walked Kaylee outside. They were soon followed by Lexie's casket being carried out of the funeral home.

It had been a week since Lexie's funeral. And it had been the 14th time Mark visited her grave.

"Hey, Little Grey," Mark knew she'd be smiling at the sound of him calling her "Little Grey." "I've missed you. We all miss you. Kaylee misses you." Mark sat next to her tombstone. "You know, it's really lonely at home. I really start to miss you at night. You'd think I get used to it since I've been sleeping alone for over a year now. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over the fact that you're not in the bed next to me. Shoot, I won't ever get over you not being here at all.." Mark's eyes once again filled with tears. That's all he ever seemed to do anymore. Everything made him think of Lexie. "I gotta go pick up Kaylee, I'll be back later. I love you, Lex." Mark pressed his hand next to the engraving of her name.

Mark shook his head to clear his mind. He was in complete shock at what was in front of him. His daughter was in the bed with her mother, who was sitting up.

"Hello, Mark."

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Please review, Thanks, And I hope you guys enjoyed (;


	9. Chapter 9

Ok, so after chapter 8, I reached over 1900 views and I want to thank each and every one of you for sticking with me. I'm sorry about possibly sending you into cardiac arrest with chapter 8.

And, if you're confused about what happened, please feel free to ask. I confused myself a little, too.

Please review, and enjoy.(:

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Mark stood in complete and utter silence. Minutes passed before he could finally wrap his head around what was happening.

"Daddy, look! Mommy's awake," Kaylee announced as she bounced up and down. Mark had never seen Kaylee so happy before. She was happier than she was on their adventure they had taken.

"What are you doing all the way over there?" Lexie smiled. Now Mark was the one experiencing the never before felt, over the top happiness. Before Mark could think, he immediately walked over to her bed, placed his hands on her face and kissed her. It had been over a year since Mark felt her lips on his. It was the best feeling in the world. Their moment was soon interrupted by Derek clearing his throat.

Derek smiled, "looks like you've heard the good news."

"Good," Mark blurted out. "You mean amazing!" Mark grabbed Lexie's hand as he said, "my wife is awake! That's not just good, that's amazing!" Mark kissed Lexie again.

Derek chuckled, "don't get too worked up. Lexie needs rest."

"Rest? She's been resting for a year!" Mark's remark had so much emotion in it. Lexie squeezed his hand and gave him a look.

"Mark," Lexie looked into Mark's eyes, "he's right." Mark seemed to be hypnotized by her eyes. Her dark brown eyes. The eyes that made him melt each and every time he saw them. He loved her eyes. "What?" Lexie smiled.

"I missed you," Mark finally admitted. Lexie sat in complete silence and tears soon began to fill her eyes. She began thinking about all of the things she had missed out in the past year. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, their anniversary, Kaylee's 5th birthday, Kaylee's first day of kindergarten. Lexie's heart began racing and tears were pouring out of her eyes. She was hyperventilating. Mark quickly came to her rescue to calm her down.

"Lexie, shhhh. It's all alright," Mark put his arm around Lexie and pulled her close to him. "Calm down, Lex." Soon Lexie began to calm down, but she was still a little worked up. All Mark could do was hold her until she drifted off to sleep. Seeing Lexie sleep was one of the most terrifying things to Mark. That's all he's seen her do for a year. It used to be the most relaxing, but now... Mark tried to sleep, but his thoughts were running wild. _What if she doesn't wake up? What if I never get to hear her voice again? She has to wake back up. Get a hold of yourself, Mark. She's just taking a nap. She'll be awake in a little bit. Breathe._ Mark took a deep breath and cuddled up closer to Lexie.

A week had passed and Lexie was doing much better. She had been in physical therapy every day the past few days. Callie was worried that Lexie's limbs wouldn't work properly. She knew Lexie would be in pain for a while, though. She hadn't moved on her own in a year. She was obviously going to be stiff. Knowing how determined Lexie was about something she wanted, she wouldn't give up no matter what. That's how she got Mark.

A few weeks later, Lexie was finally discharged from the hospital. She was still in the wheelchair, but was slowly recovering. Her arms were recovering faster than her legs. She couldn't walk fully on her own just yet. It hurt too much and she didn't have that much nerve control. She was currently working on lifting and moving her arms. Lexie didn't know whether she was more worried about being able to walk or being able to operate again. She had already fallen a year behind and didn't want to have to give up on her career. She had a real promise in Neuro.

Lexie felt lost when she arrived home. Mark had changed things around. Lexie felt uneasy as she was wheeled into her home. Both Kaylee and Mark were super excited to have Lexie home, but she wasn't feeling the same anymore. She didn't recognize the sheets on her and Mark's bed, or the new kitchen appliances, or the new pictures of Kaylee. Even the little things like, Kaylee's new shoes bothered her. Lexie felt tears forming again, but she forced herself to hold them back until she was alone.

"Look mommy!" Kaylee came running up to her mother with her book bag. Her book bag had some puppies on it, her favorite animal.

"It's pretty. I love the puppies," Lexie faked a smile. Kaylee had just started Kindergarten and Lexie was heartbroken that she missed her daughter's first day. Mark could see the pain in Lexie's eyes. He soon interrupted the moment.

"Kaylee, sweetie. Why don't we let mommy get some rest, she's had a hard day."

"Ok," Kaylee hugged Lexie and ran off to her room to play with her toys.

"Lex, are you ok?" Mark looked very concerned. Lexie didn't respond. She just rolled herself to the bedroom. Mark tried going after her, but she slammed the door in his face. Mark was worried more than ever.


	10. Chapter 10

I reached my goal of 2k views with my last chapter. Thank you all so much. I really really appreciate it. (:

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Lexie sat alone in the dark all night. Her thoughts were running wild. They were, at the moment, her worst enemy. Her thoughts were keeping her awake, keeping her from the world, keeping her from her husband and child. She refused to answer Mark's banging on the door. Really, she didn't want to see him despite the fact she hadn't since the wreck. To her, it wasn't a year. It was just a long nap. It didn't feel like a year until she noticed all the changes. _Who knew so much could change in a year_, she thought time and time again. Apparently, a lot could change in a year.

Lexie eased herself onto the bed where she laid and stared at the ceiling. Tears began forming in her eyes then rolled down her cheeks. Everything she missed in the past year was hitting her, and it hit her hard. Lexie was beginning to fall into this hole, and this hole was going to ruin her. She wasn't the kind to feel this way; Lexie was the happy-go-lucky kind of person. Everyone always held that over her head. It began to look like she'd be just like everyone else at the hospital, except worse.

Lexie rolled over and pulled Mark's pillow to her chest. She loved the way both he and it smelled. Tears rolled down her cheek and onto his pillow as she fell asleep.

"Good morning," Mark said cautiously as Lexie finally came out of their bedroom. She didn't respond which broke Mark's heart. It had been so long since he got to hear his wife's voice, and when he finally could, she refused to speak. She just sat there in silence.

"I made waffles and bacon." Mark tried so hard to get some kind of response from Lexie. "You know, Kaylee has school this morning. She'd love it if you rode with us."

Lexie just grabbed her plate and wheeled herself over to the window, where she ate her breakfast and stared out the window. Mark was truly concerned. Lexie wasn't acting herself and he was scared that this was more than just a phase.

Mark walked slowly over to Lexie, "I'm taking Kaylee to school now... I guess you don't wanna come." Mark looked at Lexie with sad eyes. Still no response. "Bye..." Mark kissed the top of Lexie's head before calling for Kaylee and leaving.

Once they got into the car, Kaylee looked at her father and asked, "daddy, why is mommy not talking?"

Mark looked at Kaylee through the rear view mirror as he talked, "well, sweetie. Mommy's just having a rough time right now. She's quiet because she doesn't feel good."

"Why doesn't mommy feel good?"

_Because she missed a whole year of her life..._

"Well," Mark carefully placed his words, "because, sometimes people have a bad day and they don't feel good. Your mommy is just having a bad day is all." Kaylee just replied with an "oh" and remained quiet the rest of the ride to school.

Mark returned home to find Lexie asleep on the couch. She was wearing one of his shirts and wrapped up in a blanket. He hoped the fact that she had his shirt on was a good sign, but sadly, he was mistaken.

When Lexie woke up, she went back to not speaking. Mark tried everything to get her to talk, but nothing worked. He finally decided to use his big weapon. Meredith Grey. He called her and asked if she could stop by. He explained how Lexie was acting and how worried he was. She was immediately on her way over. She knew this wasn't normal for her little sister and they should be worried.

Once Meredith arrived, she suggested that Mark should leave. She wanted some time alone with her sister. He finally agreed after about 5 minutes of arguing.

Meredith had a surprise for Lexie, it was Zola. Meredith and Derek decided to adopt her. She was one of the kids that Alex had brought from Africa. Derek performed surgery on her, and the minute that both he and Meredith laid eyes on her, they were in love. They knew she was meant to be with them. She knew that Zola needed to be loved by a family. Neither of them had experience having a true family, and it was finally time for them to. Adopting Zola meant that this was her child. It also meant that Lexie had a niece. A niece that she didn't even know she had.

"Hey, Lex," Meredith called out. Lexie didn't speak. She just continued to look out the window. "Someone wanted to say hi," Meredith adjusted Zola in her arms, which caused her to giggle. Lexie looked up at the sound of the toddler's laugh. "Lexie, this is your niece, Zola." Lexie's face had "surprise" written all over it.

"We adopted her a few weeks ago," Meredith began explaining what Lexie was thinking about asking. "Alex organized for some African kids to fly over here so we could help them. And, this little girl," Meredith focused on Zola, "Derek operated on her. We've been in love with her since."

Lexie just sat there with her eyes wide. Zola looked at her, then hid her face in Meredith's neck. She was being silly like always. Meredith motioned to Lexie for her to hold Zola. She shook her head while disappointment spread across Meredith's face. Meredith pulled a chair next to Lexie. Zola bounded in her lap.

"You know, Mark's worried about you. I'm worried about you." Lexie watched Zola as Meredith talked. "We understand that you're upset, but you need to snap out of it." Meredith tried to be careful with what she said. Lexie was the sensitive one. She wasn't like the rest of them at the hospital. She was the optimist. "So what, you missed a year. I mean, yeah that sucks. But look at what you have! You have a wonderful and caring family. You have many more years ahead of you."

Lexie averted her eyes from Zola and moved them back to the window. "You don't know..." She whispered through her teeth. "You don't know what it feels like..."

Meredith raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, I don't know what it feels like. I've never been in a coma, and especially one for a year. But, did you know, I've died. I've literally died." Lexie had a shocked look in her face. "Yeah, I drowned. I was down for a while. So, I don't know what it feels like to be in a coma, but I know what it feels like to be dead. And I know that feeling afterwards. You would think you'd be all 'I was dead, but I'm alive! I should be living life to the fullest or whatever.' But, no. You can't but help feel like crap." Meredith sighed. "Lex... You need to just move on."

They sat in silence for a moment. Lexie closed her eyes, laid her head against the wall and took a deep breath. "I'm trying... I really am."

Ok. I'm sorry for this chapter. I'm not happy with it.

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I've had a rough couple of days and didn't put my best into this chapter. But yeah. Sorry. Please review. Thanks. (:


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